I have recently joined the sailing/ cruising / liveaboard lifestyle after spending only a few short months sailing on the weekends. What this means is that I now live on a boat and travel/sail around from place to place. We simply drop anchor and stay a while in a new place, then move on when we feel like it and the weather permits. Kind of like seagypsies. It means that instead of buying new things, I am constantly downsizing as there is not much room on a boat. I either sold or gave away most of my possessions and the lifestyle habits I thought necessary to live a good life. Why would I do something so crazy? A) This gives me the freedom to travel, be with my partner and actually live the life I wanted to at this stage in my life. Or B) I am crazy. Or C) Maybe a little bit of both.
When you are new to living on a boat it requires a few adjustments.
· You need to learn another language.
Ropes become sheets. Yes, bed sheets are also called sheets. “I’m going below to use the head,” means I’m going inside the boat to use the toilet. The bedroom becomes the stateroom where you must climb up to the bed and climb across your partner if you then decide to use the head during the night or to check the weather. Not a graceful act for me, at my age, especially when the boat is moving. Rocking and rolling takes on a whole new meaning. Tying a bow line is not tying it on using a pretty bow.
The kitchen is now called the galley and I have become the galley wench. Port is the left side, not a bag or alcoholic beverage. Although there is always alcohol aboard, always. The front of the boat is called the bow and the back is called the stern. Not to be confused with towards the back which is referred to as aft. Did you call me daft? And no, no, no, you can not just say front and back, left and right, you just can’t, okay.
· Basic household chores and activities require imagination.
Doing the laundry means waiting until you have no clean clothes to wear because you have worn everything more than once, and even inside out. So, you bundle up the dirty washing and take it to town in the dingy and walk to the laundromat, then sit around and wait for it to wash while enjoying an ice-cream or two. Finding places around the boat to hang the washing out so it won’t blow away and be lost forever as it floats away, becomes a mission for the brave. Bras on winches, towels wrapped around the sheets (ropes attached to the sails), and shirts hanging in the engine room.
Finding new places to store food and then forgetting it’s in the floor, under the lounge and in the walls, and strapping down the fridge, oven and TV when you are on the move. Covering meat and fish with salt to preserve it because you don’t have a freezer. Excepting generous donations of freshly caught fish, crabs and other seafood from other boaties who also don’t have a freezer.
· It’s not all fun in the sun.
There are some challenges too, especially when the boat is moving.
Balancing and hanging on while you cook, take a shower, use the head (toilet) with one hand on the wall while the other hand…. whoops.
Getting on and off the boat using an unstable ladder, and in and out of the dingy while carrying the groceries and your washing and a new generator and a new anchor winch and the alcohol and the fuel. Instead of taking the car you take the dingy. When there is a bit of fetch (swell) or waves, you get splashed frequently so that you arrive very wet. No need to go for a swim now though. All normal.
Eating etc while leaning over to one side and preventing the plates from sliding off the table. Playing pick-up sticks on a moving boat! You bet we can.
Putting out the garbage means taking a plastic bag with your garbage in it with you in the dingy and sneaking it into a public rubbish bin when you get ashore, while trying not to look like a bag lady. This can include a bag with all your used toilet paper in it. Yuck!
· Mixing with your own kind.
Every time another boat passes you, (on the port side of course) you must wave to everyone on that boat. This can take a while if it is a long boat with lots of people on it. Other boaties will remember the name of your boat and type of boat more than they will remember the owners. It is perfectly acceptable to pull up in your dingy to a stranger’s boat and yell “ahoy (name of their boat)” and have them invite you for sundowners or morning tea. Sundowners is a boatie ritual that involves alcohol and nibbles either on the boat or just on shore. (not to be confused with going a little crazy as the sun goes down when you have dementia, or is it?) If it is onshore then all other boaties / cruisers in the immediate area are welcome and become your new best friends. Never go onto another person’s boat without being invited. If the hatch is closed but the dingy is alongside the owners are either sleeping or using the stateroom for other recreational activities, or just walking around naked.
· You become obsessed with the weather.
First thing in the morning poke your head up through the hatch like a little bird coming out of the nest, and check if you are still where you are supposed to be and have not drifted onto the rocks, out to sea or are about to crash into another boat. Check the wind speed, direction, compass, waves, tidal flow, cloud formation etc. Then go down below and check all this again on the internet BOM to confirm and get a forecast and then get a radio forecast. Discuss this with partner and make the days plans revolve around it. If aboard check your location and discuss the weather several times a day trying to predict everything. Look for places to hide out, just in case things get bad. Don’t forget to take photos of spectacular sunrises, sunsets and cloud formations to show off on the Weather Nerds Facebook page.
· If you go ashore, completely forget about the weather and the boat for a few hours while you do the shopping and go to the pub for lunch or explore a deserted island. If it rains bail out the dingy before leaving and then sit on the wet seat so that your pants are wet. You are not a real sailor unless you have wet pants. That is if you are wearing any. Thank the boat for waiting for you when you return.
· Watching porn.
Realising and accepting that your partner is going to watch a lot of porn. By porn I mean boatporn. This includes watching you tube videos of racing yachts, boat accidents, how to fix things on boats, big boats, fast boats, special boats, old boats, boats like our boat, etc.
· Weird yes, but oh so wonderful. Lots of laughs and meaningful conversations mixed with days travelling on the water in absolute paradise with one- three-word sentences of whale! dolphins, raptors, smash up, turtle, sea snake, Jibe, starboard tack, shit! Where did that ship come from, reverse, are we drifting?
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